How Do Angels Get a Driver’s License?

When my phone rang that Thursday afternoon at a few minutes past 3pm….I couldn’t possibly have been prepared for what I would hear next: “Ummmm, Mom? Sooooooooo, Andrew’s bike is in a million pieces, but I haven’t found his body yet.” Yep, THAT was the opening statement, coming from my oldest son, Alex, who is one of the funniest pranksters I know. Of course I said, “That’s not even a little bit funny!” He came back in a somber voice with “I REALLY wish I was kidding this time Mom.” It was right about then that I felt my heart instantly drop to the floor with a sickening thud.

I ran out of my house with my cell phone in hand – searching, hoping, praying for a way to get to the accident scene. My boys had left home just a few minutes ago at the same time. Andrew was headed to pick up his girlfriend after school to give her the very first ride on his shiny brand spanking new yellow and black motorcycle. Alex was headed to Costco in my car to have new tires installed for me, since I really despise the smell of new tires. I was home alone with no vehicle.

We lived in a small gated community near the beach, that was designed in a circle around a lake – with each “block” really being like a spoke in a wheel. All of my neighbors in our block were still at work. It was the kind of tiny peaceful community where everybody knows each other and there is absolutely ZERO traffic other than residents and guests. I headed for the circle asking desperately for a miracle to get me to my boys, while hearing from Alex that he had found Andrew and that he was alive! Just then, a station wagon I’d never seen before came around the bend – the old fashioned kind with the wood panels – like the one from the TV show, Touched By An Angel.

Without asking or even really thinking about what I was doing, I flagged the car down and jumped in the front passenger seat. The driver acted unusually calm and seemed extra peaceful as I explained what I needed and asked for his help. He then said in a deeply reassuring tone, “All I need to know is whether to turn right or left – I will get you to your sons. “

This is exactly what the car looked like that I jumped into:

I was still on the phone with Alex as we headed towards the accident site, trying to get specifics and find out exactly where they were – I could hear the sirens in the background and had no earthly idea what to expect. I said a prayer of gratitude that one of the first faces Andrew saw when he looked up from the pavement was his own big brother – THAT had to be a great feeling. As we approached the scene filled with fire trucks, police cars, and the ambulance, I realized I had barely spoken to the wonderful man who was BEING my miracle. I expressed my sincere appreciation for him showing up exactly at the time I was frantically looking for a ride and asked if he lived in our community, since I’d never met him. He answered in a wise and gentle voice: “No, I’m not from here.”

I jumped out of the car and ran to the ambulance that Andrew had already been loaded into. He was awake and alert and although very seriously injured, had an amazing attitude. We talked about how it is in these moments of decision we get to determine our destiny. Clearly, he now had a HUGE opportunity to choose whether or not he would tell a (legit) victim story for the rest of his life or a victorious story of overcoming all the odds. He said, “I AM Superman Mom – I just flew!” That’s when I knew he would be better than okay, no matter how extensive his injuries were.

Alex and I followed the ambulance to the hospital in my car and it was quite a bit later that day when we were informed by a police officer that the person who changed our lives forever was a drunk driver. I was furious, livid, and enraged! I was asking very dis-empowering questions, but my boys immediately pointed out that to live in a place most consider paradise (Palm Beach, Florida) and choose to be too drunk to function on a Thursday afternoon is someone who is really deserving of great sympathy. Good point, really. “How bad must his life be to want it all blurred out, Mom?” (Sometimes our kids are the ones raising us…yes?)

I don’t know exactly when the goosebumps hit me…it may have been late that night when I couldn’t sleep and replayed the whole experience over in my mind multiple times…or it may have been later in the week, after some of the shock wore off and the new altered reality settled in. The reality that my perfectly healthy son had been competing at a Brazilian Jui Jitsu tournament the weekend before the accident, and was now in a wheelchair. The reality that it would be a very long time before he was able to go upstairs to his bedroom. The reality that EVERYTHING in our world was now re-arranged, not just the furniture! The reality that it could have been so much worse…. All I know is when those gratitude goosebumps washed over me in waves, I knew with all my heart that the driver of that unique wood paneled station wagon who took me to my boys, was most definitely an angel… It explains why we never saw him or that vehicle ever again, and what he was really saying when he quietly told me: “I am not from here.”

Feeling extremely grateful for the Miracle of LIFE…

Ever since the new abortion law was passed in New York State several days ago, I’ve debated whether to comment or not. But after reading several posts from various friends on both sides of this “war” I feel I would be out of integrity if I didn’t share from my heart how I feel and why… I am definitely a PRO LIFER.

This conversation was sent to a friend who is married to an adoptee – I’ve changed the names for privacy.

Your very own beautiful, talented, amazing, unique wife was given the gift of life in spite of being conceived in less than perfect circumstances for her birth mother. For whatever reasons, Jennifer’s birth mother chose to be “pro life” rather than terminate her pregnancy… and that decision allowed a miracle to take place: She got to experience being a very alive and full of pizzazz human! Have you considered how different your world would be without Jennifer in it? I’m guessing you would move mountains and go to any length to save her now that you know and love her, yes? 

For me, being pro life is a deep knowing, honoring, respecting that EACH of us is a unique beautiful miracle packed with a one of a kind personality and gifts that have never been put together before in history and will never again be repeated. 

Like Jennifer, I also came to earth riding a blazing shooting star at a VERY inconvenient time. I was conceived when my cash strapped, college student parents already had a toddler and a very sick hospitalized infant who had two major surgeries in his first few months of life…I wasn’t planned, wasn’t expected, certainly wasn’t hoped for or dreamed of, yet my mom chose to be pro life. She chose to believe that I was a blessing disguised as an overwhelming catastrophe at the “wrong” time. It just so happens I was born in upstate New York. I have been wondering if the dates were different if she would now be advised by her doctors to abort me due to her feelings of overwhelm and exhaustion taking care of her other child’s special medical needs etc… 

Personally I am full of extreme gratitude to be here – to be alive – to have experienced the blessing of unexpected and unplanned motherhood myself – the pain, the bliss, the agony, the deepest love that can’t be described in words. I don’t believe we have been given the power/authority to take life away from someone any more than we have the power/authority to keep someone breathing when their time has come to leave this earth. It doesn’t matter how much we want another day with someone we love, it is out of our control. Yes? 

I feel that in the cycle of this beautiful experience we call life, whether it is before birth or after birth, we must understand at a cellular and soul level that as women, while we are CO-creators / vessels / channels we do not get to choose the termination of another human being’s life without suffering profound consequences.  I have been the friend who did my best to console friends who chose abortion. I have seen the consequences of that choice play out over decades…it has brought gaping wounds, scars of regret and led to feelings of guilt, loss, shame, unworthiness, settling for “less” in so many categories. Each mother has an intuitive feeling about their baby – often knowing whether it was a boy or a girl, and always knowing how old they would be now…if only they had chosen life.

I often wonder who those MILLIONS of beautiful people came here to be who were aborted and never got to share their unique amazing one of a kind personalities with us…. Perhaps one of them was sent to bring the cure for cancer? Perhaps one of them had musical talents that would have elevated all of us to new heights. Perhaps one of them was a funky artist who was sent to bring a very different splash of color that we will never get to see, appreciate and enjoy.  I read recently that in the USA alone, if we had just one minute of silence for each aborted child, we would be silent for over ten years…

Suicide is an incredibly painful choice that some humans make, leaving those of us who loved them reeling from the shock, the grief, the disbelief that they didn’t know how much they were valued and loved and what a difference their life made to us…what a miracle they were in OUR story. 

To make that “choice” for a human baby who was entrusted to you for their safety and nurturing and development and delivery here on Planet Earth…before they ever even have the chance to breathe, walk, talk, cry, laugh, make a snow angel, dance, hear music, pop a pimple, watch a sunrise or sunset, learn about dogs and cats and elephants and whales, fall in love, experience heartache, fully taste and savor the ecstasy of this MIRACLE of life…?

Wow. I couldn’t take that away from another person.

So I hope that helps you understand what “Pro Life” means for me. I’m glad YOU were born. I’m glad Jennifer was born. I’m VERY glad I was born. And I hope that we can get back to a place in our lifetimes where we remember how sacred and beautiful and short and precious ALL LIFE here on earth is, and that more of us empowered, enlightened, strong, capable women will support each other as some of us are blessed to be chosen for delivering the next generation of paradigm shifters to Planet Earth. May we welcome ALL the babies, even if we don’t feel capable of raising them. May we step up and accept the honor and duties of raising the unexpected children like Jennifer’s adoptive mother did. 

I believe we are capable of so much more than we currently realize. I hope to shine a bright light on what else is possible….

Miracles exist in that space between what we think we can handle (perceived reality) after doing all that we know to do…and what is divinely orchestrated and simply incomprehensible in the vast realm of the mystery of LIFE.

When we value and appreciate life, we get to surrender and be the vessel. We choose to deliver LIFE rather than death. We become willing to ask if perhaps we are not in charge of choosing to end another person’s life just as we are not in charge of extending it, no matter how much we want to…

You posted that you feel most pro-lifers are pro-discrimination. In my opinion, the ultimate act of discrimination is choosing who to abort. There is no such thing as a “convenient” baby – and no date on any calendar that is the “perfect time” with absolute guarantees of everything unfolding just as you dreamed it would. Life is messy, unpredictable, and comes neatly packed full of unexpected adventures if you choose to say YES and focus on what’s great about it – that’s what being PRO LIFE means to me.

2019 New Years Renovations!

The tradition of New Years “Resolutions” just doesn’t feel like the vocabulary that works for me this trip around the sun… To “resolve” is to decide, determine, and declare an intention using willpower…it doesn’t really imply any further action steps, which could be why the vast majority of us drop off the NYResolution bandwagon within a few short days or weeks. I’m inviting you to consider twisting your kaleidoscope just a teeny tiny bit to the word RENOVATIONS as a possible alternative this year. Making that simple change has really rearranged my thinking and my confidence in creating what I truly deserve to experience over the next 365 days..

Most likely this epiphany happened over the course of physically renovating several homes this year. I’m talking about the kind of projects where you rip out the carpets, the toilets, the cabinetry, the mirrors…the kind of projects that have your entire body filthy and aching at the end of each day…the kind that forms blisters and callouses and activates new muscles you didn’t know you had…the kind that sometimes brought tears and frustration and overwhelm and felt like JUST TOO MUCH to ever handle and get through to completion. The kind where you burn your clothes afterwards because they are too disgusting to ever really get clean again.

I did THREE of those massive renovation projects in 2018. I honestly amazed myself with my ability to clearly see what was possible…but guess what – it involved getting rid of ALOT of shit. I say that word, because literally in all three homes there had been multiple unsupervised and untrained animals allowed to do their “business” whenever and wherever they pleased. Yes, that’s nasty and unacceptable and hard to imagine unless you saw it with your own eyes (yes, I have pictures but I’m choosing not to share and have you focus on what you DO NOT WANT MORE OF IN YOUR LIFE!!!)

So, today, as we start a brand spanking shiny new year full of potential and possibility, I am offering a few questions for you to consider, just in case your life is a bit of a Fixer Upper and not yet picture perfect…

Are you starting with a pristine, fresh, pure and spotless-as-the-snow- outside-my-window-right- now canvas and your only “job” is to splash your favorite colors on the walls, furnish, enhance, and accentuate the positive in your life? Well, THAT would be groovy and a blast…but I suspect that you might just have some “shit” to dispose of and remove from your life – I know I SURE DO!

Before we can create the life we deserve and imagine and dream about, we have to be willing to roll up our sleeves and do the dirty work…yes? It’s not fun, and it certainly isn’t easy, but I’m here to PROMISE YOU that it is so very worth it. YOU are worth it. YOU are the most important “project” you’ll ever take on!

So, today, as you picture what your life will look like, feel like, taste like, smell like, sound like on January 1st, 2020. Go ahead and get VIVID with your pictures – be as detailed as possible. You can never hold in your hands what you cannot hold in your mind. If you see it clearly, and believe it’s worth going through WHATEVER IT TAKES to create your new reality, you won’t give up partway there.

You know what made all three of these projects tolerable to complete? Bringing in my CREW! Who is on your Renovation Crew? Do you have one or more close enough friends that will roll up their sleeves and scrub your LIFE with you? Who loves you enough to hold the dustpan while you sweep out what no longer serves you – help you drag that load to the dumpster – and then dance the FREEDOM DANCE with you??? Who is honest enough to point out what isn’t working, even if you didn’t notice?

Here’s the VIP big huge question: Do you have the proper tools and the skillset to take Project YOU on? Being equipped to do the work makes ALL the difference. I am happy to recommend what HAS worked and IS working for me. Unless your life is absolutely perfect and you don’t want to change a single thing…one of the best resources you can possibly make available to you is a team of experts on speed dial! If you have never installed a toilet and sink before, wouldn’t you at the very least call a plumber you know and ask for some guidance? I certainly HOPE SO!

Here in Colorado there was a large housing development with multi-million dollar homes that literally cracked in half within a year of being built…OOPS! It was determined that the contractor had not tested the soil properly. If he had realized there was such a high percentage of bentonite, he would have used a different plan and the cracking/splitting would not have occurred. Wow. Real estate is one of the most valuable assets a person can own, no doubt about it. But your one and only life has SO much more value! If you look at 2019 as the Foundation Year (thanks to my brilliant son Alex who has chosen that as his word for 2019) and make SURE you are solid in every corner of your life, just imagine what you can then build going forward….your life can be as big and bold and amazing as a skyscraper…but it all starts with getting your foundation set properly!


Take a “before” picture of your life as it is right now – you won’t even recognize it this time next year! You can start one “room” at a time. I’m hoping you don’t need to take your life all the way down to the foundation level, but if so, LET’S DO IT and build what we truly love and can enjoy and share for the rest of our lives…Let’s leave a legacy for our children’s children and beyond…you know why? Because YOU deserve that epic of a life story.

Countdown to 2020 starts today…Is Your Vision Crystal Clear?

Vision is something that has fascinated me from a very young age. I was in 3rd grade when it was discovered that I needed corrective lenses to see properly. I will always remember that amazing feeling of walking outside with my new glasses on – so amazed that there were hundreds of leaves on each tree and thousands of individual blades of grass on the ground – WOW! What had been a blur of green up until that day now had such vivid detail and distinctions. I still get goosebumps when I remember the euphoria I felt that day!

A decade or so later, I went to work for an Optometrist and became a certified Optometric Technician. I absolutely loved assisting people in finding their best fit for contacts and/or glasses, especially the little ones who were getting their very first pair! I knew they were about to discover how AMAZING the world looks when you have complete clarity and precision, just like I discovered a few years back…

I enjoyed my optical work so much that I seriously considered pursuing a degree in Optometry. Life went a different direction for me and I became a happy Momma of two boys with my hands and heart very full. What I came to realize (real eyes) is that my passion for assisting people with their VISION was not limited to the optometry arena. When we create and hold a clear vision for our LIFE, for our DREAMS, for our PASSIONS, for our chosen PATH…wow!

There is nothing I enjoy more than asking just the right question or sharing a new perspective with someone who then is able to SEE their situation or challenge in a completely new way – one that offers clarity and a vivid picture of possibility where before there had just been a blur. What a privilege and honor it is to provide a new “lens” for someone to have that “AHA” moment when their paradigm shifts…and their whole world becomes a new and exciting place!

My hope for you is that you are stepping forward into 2019 with the clearest vision possible. Just 365 days from now we will be celebrating and welcoming 2020! What a perfect time to find the LENS that works for you!

L – Lead E – Encourage N – Nurture S – Support

If you don’t have your “LENS” in place – reach out to me and I will do my best to assist and connect you with the best fit for YOU – it’s my passion!

Let’s remember what truly matters this Thanksgiving

The holiday season can really make our emotions feel they are on STEROIDS….with so many hyped up expectations and many of us holding tightly to that (positive) belief that we somehow have the impossible superhuman ability to orchestrate a seamless, harmonious family event this year….even though we know certain relatives aren’t speaking to their siblings, or someone is going to get a little too tipsy and loudly share how they REALLY feel… like they do every year.  We seem to enjoy pretending that magically, for just a couple of hours, after someone has spent days chopping, preparing, baking, stuffing, decorating and exhausting themselves, there will be massive appreciation and every person in attendance will glimmer and glow like they are in a candlelit Hallmark movie…time will stand still as we capture the perfect food, perfect hairdos, and perfect smiles in our selfies.

Or not.

The truth of the matter is that a friend of mine lost her 25-year-old daughter suddenly and unexpectedly in the middle of a text conversation about meeting up for a movie two weeks ago – a brain aneurysm ended her young life in an instant. This will be her first Thanksgiving without her only child.   Another friend lost her favorite doctor, a brilliant young mother with two small children, who ended her own life just this week.  Thanksgiving week will never feel the same again.  Another family is still reeling from the recent loss of their precious grandbaby, who was born prematurely and only lived for a handful of days.  Thanksgiving pictures will seem like the most important person is missing for another family who will be gathering for their first holiday meal without Mom.  Yet another friend is broken hearted because her son is in prison and won’t be able to enjoy the festivities with his siblings and grandparents.  Another beautiful “perfect” family is on the brink of divorce and the stress level is off the charts… So with all of these wonderful friends in mind yesterday, I wrote this little poem sitting in the hospital yesterday:

 

Thanksgiving Options

What if we served up generous portions of kindness and grace?

Instead of rushing around…stuffing our face

Overspending and grabbing those Black Friday “finds”

when really we drive ourselves out of our minds!

A friend recently shared, the opposite of “more” is “enough.”

And do any of us really need any more STUFF?

I’m choosing instead new memories to create

with family and friends I get to appreciate.

I’m scooping up smiles and filling my heart

For none of us knows the day we’ll depart.

Life is so precious – our time here is short

so stay home from the mall – build a pillow fort!

Dance with your kids or your favorite friend

And soak up the moments, from now ’til

The End.

-Sarah Cranston, November 20, 2018 

We all know and love someone who is aching right now and feeling that they “should” be able to ACT happy and “should” be cooking a bigger feast or “should ” find a way to not feel left out and lonely….but “should-ing” on yourself is NEVER a great option.  Whenever I find myself “should-ing” on me…I switch that word to “COULD” and it just takes all the pressure off.  It looks/feels/sounds like this:  I could act like I’m not sad, but I choose to be authentic instead and allow my reality to be imperfect.  I could cook a huge meal out of obligation and habit, but I choose to honor my need to rest and it’s okay to order takeout or just eat popcorn with the ones I love instead.  I could race around town and snatch up lots of amazing bargains, but I would prefer to stay home and read a book that makes me feel both relaxed and inspired.  I could pick a side and add some fuel to the family fued that’s simmering, but I choose to be a peacemaker and bridge builder instead and just demonstrate what nonjudgmental unconditional love looks like to BOTH sides of the war…knowing that LOVE ALWAYS WINS. 

This Thanksgiving, I hope you will recognize the options you have available.  My wish is that you create your own permission slip that provides YOU with what YOU need to be healthy, be sane, feel nurtured, feel protected, and most importantly feel grateful and blessed to have the gift of another day here on earth to fully experience, appreciate, and allow what is.

You do matter.  You are loved.  Your life is priceless beyond description.